Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Understanding our Story
To understand a story, you are supposed to go back to the beginning. At least that's what I've heard. I guess part of understanding Jeff and I, our family, our relationship and why we are together (and sometimes why we've considered not being together anymore) there are many undercurrents in our collective attempts. We started at the hot springs, now we're going back (seriously) after more than a year. Climbing down steep embankments and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes proves this is a labor of love, not unlike the challenges of our lives. And most importantly - the maintenance of this family and our love for each other.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Beginning at the beginning
04/14/11......
I joined the Boise River Volunteers (BRV) officially sometime around 2009. I had enjoyed floating the river every year since moving to Boise, and wanted to involve myself further in outdoor activities. It was never my thing when I was younger, but once I discovered how much fun it was (and how cheap, easy and enjoyable it was for the kids) I decided to involve myself more in and around the outdoor community.
The problem was, at the time, I was enrolled full time in nursing school, worked two jobs, and was a single mother. Needless to say, my time was very limited and I rarely got to attend BRV events. I never had time to do the weekend river floats/clean-ups, which took all day and all weekend. I simply couldn't commit myself to that much time. I ended up doing small events scattered throughout the year, and mostly stayed in the background.
Fast-forward a few months: nursing graduation, a move, a new job and a very painful break-up. I found myself with a schedule I was by no means used to - I had more time and more money, but felt off; I wasn't used to the open schedule and the emptiness of being single when I hadn't planned to be. I needed distraction in a big way. I began to involve myself more with BRV, among other things.
I did Watershed, The Boise Music Festival and a Hot Springs clean-up in Oregon with the kids, which was a fun and relaxing way to spend a Saturday. Plus, we cleaned up the area which didn't have trash pack-out and was utterly filthy. I took the two younger ones, who enthusiatically picked up trash for hours before getting in the hot springs for the remainder of the afternoon. This was the off season - the weather was bleak, the days were cold, and I was alone and lonely. The outing to the springs was a welcome change for the kids and myself, and I found the day long trip with a vacation from my over-active brain to be refreshing, at the very least.
From that point, I re-enrolled in school and waited for river season to start. I got a call from Chris, the founder of BRV, a few months into school about a weekend hot springs trip. It was kid friendly (some are not, if they plan to clean a pool where there is commonly nudity), last minute, and I agreed to go. BRV often car-pooled - it fell in line with our environmental principles, and it saved everyone money. When Chris asked me to pick-up Jeff, another BRV member, it wasn't a question. It's what we did.
Chris gave Jeff my number so we could arrange the carpool for the next morning. It wasn't ten minutes after that when I heard from Jeff for the first time in my life. Despite both being in BRV, we had never met. Jeff was very involved in the river floats, which I had never had time to participate in. Somehow to this point we had missed each other.
I immediately found Jeff obnoxious and cocky. After my recent escapades with men, I had decided they were all idiots. Not to mention that being back in school to further my nursing career had begun to occupy the time. For anyone who has ever been to nursing school: it's the seventh level of hell. It consumes your life, your family and your time for the length of your school commitment. So at this point, I was bitter and more than busy enough that I decided I didn't have time for men. Especially the ones that thought they were going to be the next best thing that was going to happen to me.
Jeff texted me pretty much all day on Saturday. We had never seen each other, so he asked me for pictures and sent me a few of him. I refused, but did give him my Facebook and took a look at his. His profile picture was him, naked, full on, with a coffee pot over his junk. I later learned there was some symbolism and a reason for this picture, but I was turned off by it. Jeff was persistant - he flirted and tried to get me to meet him all afternoon. I finally told him I wasn't interested, and that I wasn't going to the hot springs the next day.
Sunday morning came and Jeff started texting again. I had also made the mistake of telling the kids the day before that we were going to go, so now I was stuck. I packed all of us up in my little Kia and went to get Jeff.
The afternoon went on roughly the same - I had my two small kids, Adrien and Ashton, and Jeff came alone. I had to leave my dog at his house, since I thought we were going out into nature but found out that this was a public hot springs with no dogs allowed (more on that later). I was greeted by Jeff's quadrapeligic, legless uncle sitting in the living room with two women, and the got the brief tour of the man house. This included a hot tub inside complete with weights and treadmill, and I found the entire scene completely bizarre. By then I had all walls up and in full defensive mode.
Jeff was tall, big guy, and self confidence oozed out of him and created an aura that was impossible to ignore. There was no one, not even me, that was going to convince this guy he was anything less than utterly amazing. I remember what he was wearing: a white Nike t-shirt, Black sweatpants, and Keens. He was bald, tattooed, and had huge ear gauges. In other circumstances, I would have probably dated the guy. But now I was slightly turned off, annoyed, and felt the clear and real need to keep away from him. He was accomodating, kind, and made small talk and joked with the kids on the drive up.
We were headed to Gold Fork Hot Springs, which is a public spring located between Cascade and McCall in Donnelly, Idaho. From Boise, drive north on Highway 55. The highway follows the Payette through the mountains, and takes you through Banks, Smith's Ferry and Cascade before you make a right turn on Gold Fork Rd. It's a small road with no significant signage, so watch closely. The road quickly turns to gravel as you drive approx. 4 miles back through a winding, single lane road to the springs. Like most people, I enjoy the springs most in colder weather, but in the mountain environment the roads are often treacherous. In a later trip to the same hot spring, the roads went from clear to hard packed ice in seconds, right as I was coming down a hill. I nearly slid myself and the whole family into a ditch off the side of the road, so use caution when driving this road in potentially inclement weather.
The springs themselves are public and have been "cultivated" - three pools have been built off of the source that vary in heat. The lower pools have sandy bottoms that little guys like to play in, but careful - if they get too over zealous with slapping and throwing sand, someone will come talk to you. There is admission to the springs, and they don't take credit or debit cards, so come with cash. There is a large yurt where the whole family can change, but the rooms are small and less than private. The yurt smells more than a little like mildew and people, but is pretty unsuccessfully off-set by the scented candles you will find perpetually burning in the yurt and the nearby port-a-potty. They do sell small snacks, but you are allowed to bring your own food and drink, and I have made and eaten a sandwich on more than one occassion, and beer and wine are regularly seen poolside.
The upper pool is hot enough that even in cold weather one has to get out on occassion. The lower pools are cooler - almost too cool (at least for me) in really cold weather, but could be enjoyable when it's warmer. The lower pools are shallower, as well, and the upper pool is deeper. My little ones needed floaties or a piggy-back on our first visit.
When I arrived with Jeff for the first time (after the two hour drive from Boise, in which time I learned many things about my companion) I was struck by the oddity of our little caravan. We got there after Chris and his girlfriend, so myself, Jeff and the two kids walked in together like we had known each other for years. I knew that people assumed we were all "together" and I caught myself thinking about the oddity of that situation - I barely knew this man, and we were all here like a little family. (Later, after Jeff and I had only been together a few months, the river floats started. A few people who didn't know us well asked how long we had been married. After just a few months, our rapport with each other was that easy. I'm always a little mystified by that.)
People in BRV knew Jeff as "Speedo". In fact, I think to this day there are some who don't even know his real name. He was called this for obvious reasons - he wears a Speedo. Not in the classic european style, but because Jeff enjoys shocking people and making them somewhat uncomfortable, and because he loves to poke fun at people. Himself included. When I met him, I thought the whole thing was, well, a little gross. But it would come in handy. Once I got inside the yurt to change, I was shocked to find that I had forgotten my bikini bottoms. My top was on under my shirt, and I had totally spaced putting the bottoms in my bag. So, after a two hour drive and packing two kids who were VERY excited to swim at this point, I was without a suit. I was more than a little embarassed to tell Jeff, who was waiting outside for us. Lucky for me, the man had a Speedo and some trunks. Hopefully, this will have been my first and last experience wearing a man's speedo. Let me tell you - they are not meant to flatter a woman. And after just meeting Jeff, wearing the Speedo that had been - against his man parts the whole drive up was a little creepy. Everyone else thought it was hilarious.
In an effort not to "encourage" Jeff, I didn't talk to him much at the springs. I spent time with the kids and focused on packing them around and making their food. I did watch Jeff, though, and noticed the easy and self-confident way he swaggered around the pools. I watched him talk comfortably with everyone around us, and in an event I later learned to be common, noticed that a few women found their way to him in a lower pool pretty quickly. He talked and laughed with them, leaning back in the pool and crossing his arms behind his head in the nonchalant way that he does, like there is nothing that phases him. Despite his arrogance, he was patient and kind with my kids and respectful to me.
On the drive home, he made his move. Jeff was, and always has been persistant. That is one thing (among many) that attracts me to him. We were driving back to Boise to drop the kids to their dad, and Jeff would take nothing less than no for an answer when it came to cooking dinner that night. Plus, my dog was still at his house. What else was I going to do? We went to my house, and Jeff patiently waited while their dad came, while I wavered between outfits, while I drove my oldest kid to a friends house. Then later, he took me out to meet some of his friends and drove me back to his place after I had a few too many tequila shots.
Jeff is still arrogant, and he still walks around with that swagger that I would know a mile away. I'm sure I'm still stand offish and awkward, and I'm still not a very good driver. I will never look good in a Speedo (I don't think anyone does), but that night was the last one (well, almost the last one) I spent alone. The ensuing stories are about Jeff, our kids, our relationship, and our experiences together. One of the many things we have chosen to share is pursuing other hot springs in the state, and the experience almost never turns out like we though it would. But, I never thought that a last minute trip with BRV and some guy I barely knew would land me where I am now. Most of the fun is in stumbling around until you find something, even if you didn't know you were looking for it.
For info on BRV:
for info on Goldfork:
http://goldforkhotsprings.com/
I joined the Boise River Volunteers (BRV) officially sometime around 2009. I had enjoyed floating the river every year since moving to Boise, and wanted to involve myself further in outdoor activities. It was never my thing when I was younger, but once I discovered how much fun it was (and how cheap, easy and enjoyable it was for the kids) I decided to involve myself more in and around the outdoor community.
The problem was, at the time, I was enrolled full time in nursing school, worked two jobs, and was a single mother. Needless to say, my time was very limited and I rarely got to attend BRV events. I never had time to do the weekend river floats/clean-ups, which took all day and all weekend. I simply couldn't commit myself to that much time. I ended up doing small events scattered throughout the year, and mostly stayed in the background.
Fast-forward a few months: nursing graduation, a move, a new job and a very painful break-up. I found myself with a schedule I was by no means used to - I had more time and more money, but felt off; I wasn't used to the open schedule and the emptiness of being single when I hadn't planned to be. I needed distraction in a big way. I began to involve myself more with BRV, among other things.
I did Watershed, The Boise Music Festival and a Hot Springs clean-up in Oregon with the kids, which was a fun and relaxing way to spend a Saturday. Plus, we cleaned up the area which didn't have trash pack-out and was utterly filthy. I took the two younger ones, who enthusiatically picked up trash for hours before getting in the hot springs for the remainder of the afternoon. This was the off season - the weather was bleak, the days were cold, and I was alone and lonely. The outing to the springs was a welcome change for the kids and myself, and I found the day long trip with a vacation from my over-active brain to be refreshing, at the very least.
From that point, I re-enrolled in school and waited for river season to start. I got a call from Chris, the founder of BRV, a few months into school about a weekend hot springs trip. It was kid friendly (some are not, if they plan to clean a pool where there is commonly nudity), last minute, and I agreed to go. BRV often car-pooled - it fell in line with our environmental principles, and it saved everyone money. When Chris asked me to pick-up Jeff, another BRV member, it wasn't a question. It's what we did.
Chris gave Jeff my number so we could arrange the carpool for the next morning. It wasn't ten minutes after that when I heard from Jeff for the first time in my life. Despite both being in BRV, we had never met. Jeff was very involved in the river floats, which I had never had time to participate in. Somehow to this point we had missed each other.
I immediately found Jeff obnoxious and cocky. After my recent escapades with men, I had decided they were all idiots. Not to mention that being back in school to further my nursing career had begun to occupy the time. For anyone who has ever been to nursing school: it's the seventh level of hell. It consumes your life, your family and your time for the length of your school commitment. So at this point, I was bitter and more than busy enough that I decided I didn't have time for men. Especially the ones that thought they were going to be the next best thing that was going to happen to me.
Jeff texted me pretty much all day on Saturday. We had never seen each other, so he asked me for pictures and sent me a few of him. I refused, but did give him my Facebook and took a look at his. His profile picture was him, naked, full on, with a coffee pot over his junk. I later learned there was some symbolism and a reason for this picture, but I was turned off by it. Jeff was persistant - he flirted and tried to get me to meet him all afternoon. I finally told him I wasn't interested, and that I wasn't going to the hot springs the next day.
Sunday morning came and Jeff started texting again. I had also made the mistake of telling the kids the day before that we were going to go, so now I was stuck. I packed all of us up in my little Kia and went to get Jeff.
The afternoon went on roughly the same - I had my two small kids, Adrien and Ashton, and Jeff came alone. I had to leave my dog at his house, since I thought we were going out into nature but found out that this was a public hot springs with no dogs allowed (more on that later). I was greeted by Jeff's quadrapeligic, legless uncle sitting in the living room with two women, and the got the brief tour of the man house. This included a hot tub inside complete with weights and treadmill, and I found the entire scene completely bizarre. By then I had all walls up and in full defensive mode.
Jeff was tall, big guy, and self confidence oozed out of him and created an aura that was impossible to ignore. There was no one, not even me, that was going to convince this guy he was anything less than utterly amazing. I remember what he was wearing: a white Nike t-shirt, Black sweatpants, and Keens. He was bald, tattooed, and had huge ear gauges. In other circumstances, I would have probably dated the guy. But now I was slightly turned off, annoyed, and felt the clear and real need to keep away from him. He was accomodating, kind, and made small talk and joked with the kids on the drive up.
We were headed to Gold Fork Hot Springs, which is a public spring located between Cascade and McCall in Donnelly, Idaho. From Boise, drive north on Highway 55. The highway follows the Payette through the mountains, and takes you through Banks, Smith's Ferry and Cascade before you make a right turn on Gold Fork Rd. It's a small road with no significant signage, so watch closely. The road quickly turns to gravel as you drive approx. 4 miles back through a winding, single lane road to the springs. Like most people, I enjoy the springs most in colder weather, but in the mountain environment the roads are often treacherous. In a later trip to the same hot spring, the roads went from clear to hard packed ice in seconds, right as I was coming down a hill. I nearly slid myself and the whole family into a ditch off the side of the road, so use caution when driving this road in potentially inclement weather.
The springs themselves are public and have been "cultivated" - three pools have been built off of the source that vary in heat. The lower pools have sandy bottoms that little guys like to play in, but careful - if they get too over zealous with slapping and throwing sand, someone will come talk to you. There is admission to the springs, and they don't take credit or debit cards, so come with cash. There is a large yurt where the whole family can change, but the rooms are small and less than private. The yurt smells more than a little like mildew and people, but is pretty unsuccessfully off-set by the scented candles you will find perpetually burning in the yurt and the nearby port-a-potty. They do sell small snacks, but you are allowed to bring your own food and drink, and I have made and eaten a sandwich on more than one occassion, and beer and wine are regularly seen poolside.
The upper pool is hot enough that even in cold weather one has to get out on occassion. The lower pools are cooler - almost too cool (at least for me) in really cold weather, but could be enjoyable when it's warmer. The lower pools are shallower, as well, and the upper pool is deeper. My little ones needed floaties or a piggy-back on our first visit.
When I arrived with Jeff for the first time (after the two hour drive from Boise, in which time I learned many things about my companion) I was struck by the oddity of our little caravan. We got there after Chris and his girlfriend, so myself, Jeff and the two kids walked in together like we had known each other for years. I knew that people assumed we were all "together" and I caught myself thinking about the oddity of that situation - I barely knew this man, and we were all here like a little family. (Later, after Jeff and I had only been together a few months, the river floats started. A few people who didn't know us well asked how long we had been married. After just a few months, our rapport with each other was that easy. I'm always a little mystified by that.)
People in BRV knew Jeff as "Speedo". In fact, I think to this day there are some who don't even know his real name. He was called this for obvious reasons - he wears a Speedo. Not in the classic european style, but because Jeff enjoys shocking people and making them somewhat uncomfortable, and because he loves to poke fun at people. Himself included. When I met him, I thought the whole thing was, well, a little gross. But it would come in handy. Once I got inside the yurt to change, I was shocked to find that I had forgotten my bikini bottoms. My top was on under my shirt, and I had totally spaced putting the bottoms in my bag. So, after a two hour drive and packing two kids who were VERY excited to swim at this point, I was without a suit. I was more than a little embarassed to tell Jeff, who was waiting outside for us. Lucky for me, the man had a Speedo and some trunks. Hopefully, this will have been my first and last experience wearing a man's speedo. Let me tell you - they are not meant to flatter a woman. And after just meeting Jeff, wearing the Speedo that had been - against his man parts the whole drive up was a little creepy. Everyone else thought it was hilarious.
In an effort not to "encourage" Jeff, I didn't talk to him much at the springs. I spent time with the kids and focused on packing them around and making their food. I did watch Jeff, though, and noticed the easy and self-confident way he swaggered around the pools. I watched him talk comfortably with everyone around us, and in an event I later learned to be common, noticed that a few women found their way to him in a lower pool pretty quickly. He talked and laughed with them, leaning back in the pool and crossing his arms behind his head in the nonchalant way that he does, like there is nothing that phases him. Despite his arrogance, he was patient and kind with my kids and respectful to me.
On the drive home, he made his move. Jeff was, and always has been persistant. That is one thing (among many) that attracts me to him. We were driving back to Boise to drop the kids to their dad, and Jeff would take nothing less than no for an answer when it came to cooking dinner that night. Plus, my dog was still at his house. What else was I going to do? We went to my house, and Jeff patiently waited while their dad came, while I wavered between outfits, while I drove my oldest kid to a friends house. Then later, he took me out to meet some of his friends and drove me back to his place after I had a few too many tequila shots.
Jeff is still arrogant, and he still walks around with that swagger that I would know a mile away. I'm sure I'm still stand offish and awkward, and I'm still not a very good driver. I will never look good in a Speedo (I don't think anyone does), but that night was the last one (well, almost the last one) I spent alone. The ensuing stories are about Jeff, our kids, our relationship, and our experiences together. One of the many things we have chosen to share is pursuing other hot springs in the state, and the experience almost never turns out like we though it would. But, I never thought that a last minute trip with BRV and some guy I barely knew would land me where I am now. Most of the fun is in stumbling around until you find something, even if you didn't know you were looking for it.
For info on BRV:
for info on Goldfork:
http://goldforkhotsprings.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)